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Barney Dinosaur

Rachel Joins Conspiracy

“We just couldn’t have children believe that their dinosaur
friend would ever bite anyone, much less a white house
correspondent”. This amazing admission was leaked from
the April D. Ryan Cell, a radical feminist group loosely
aligned with the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC. The leak was
made public by Students and Teachers Against Barney – STAB -
a public interest organization dedicated to making Barney go away
for good.

STAB sources, speaking on condition of anonyminity, revealed
details of a conspiracy to protect children from the truth.

Barney, an imaginary purple dinosaur (IPD)
was cavorting on the White House south lawn when he was
approached by a reporter. An incident ensued. There are no
photographs since existing cell phone technology does not
provide for photographs of IPDs, though such creatures do
appear on television from time to time.

STAB revealed how the conspiracy got started. A quick thinking
April D. Ryan operative substituted stock footage of
the White House pooch, fortunately also named Barney.
The reporter’s finger was bandaged even though it wasn’t
the same finger that was shown on the widely circulated
video. A hand written note from first lady Laura Bush was
another part of the conspiracy. The Reuters News reporter
appeared on the Rachel Maddow show recently to complete
the scam.

STAB said that Barney was at the White House to hitch a
ride to Crawford, TX when the Bush family leaves town.
Barney will work on restoring George W. Bush’s reputation
as a great statesman and patriot. Only children would
believe this at the moment. These children will grow up
and thus within the space of one generation the Bush legacy
will be restored thanks to help from Barney.

STAB officials were devastated by these developments.
“We have done everything to rid the world of Barney
once and for all. We even tried pounding a wooden stake
through his heart.” This tactic was unsuccessful since
Barney is known to wear his heart on his sleeve.

posted by The GNUinator